Oz The Great and Powerful

I was so blessed by the encouraging messages sent by my friends after they read my post yesterday. Thank you for all the encouragement.

So yesterday night I finally watched "Oz The Great and Powerful". I always have this affection towards Disney movies and I don't know why. I love Disney. Disney loves me. We are happy family haha.

I've never read the story book so I didn't know what was the story line like. When I saw the trailer, I was like "Bammm it's Disney! I'm so going to watch this!!!" and off I went yesterday.

Basically, the movie was about Oz the magician who was carried away by a hot air balloon to the Land of Oz. People of the land thought that he was the great and powerful wizard Oz who would save them and their land from the hands of the wicked witch. The plot was good. It's always "the evil cannot defeat the good" in Disney movies. The graphic was amazing. What I loved the most was the theme of the movie - when we believe, everything becomes possible.

What an interesting and uplifting quote. In the movie, Oz finally chose to believe that they could defeat the wicked witches and indeed, they won the battle. In real life, Thomas Edison believed and he invented the first incandescent light bulb; the Wright brothers believed that flight was possible and they invented the first airplane...There are so many more real life examples where people do believe, things happen.

I call this faith. Faith in God. This reminded me of the verse,
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."     (Hebrews 11:1)
Reflecting this on my life, I realized that sometimes I would lose faith in God in times of troubles and uncertainties. I would lose my focus and thought that the whole world is falling apart. But these thoughts don't belong to God. God wants me to believe in Him, to trust in Him, to have faith in Him, and everything will be possible. For the Bible says "... Everything is possible for him who believes" (Mark 9:23) , "For nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37).
I learnt that it is important to believe, not in ourselves, but in God.
For He is the Great and Powerful =)

I gave this movie a rating of 9/10. One mark deducted because I was scared by the witches >_<

2013: Never Failing Love

It's 2013.
This is going to be my first super-long post in 2013, and it's about the never failing love of God.

On the 1st January 2013, I finally took the flight home. The two months holiday back home, honestly, wasn't a good start of the year. It was one of the hardest times I've ever been through. I realized that things and family at home had changed drastically without me knowing. To cut the long story short, my home was in a mess. A total mess. Dad wasn't doing okay, Mom was under a lot of stress and pressure, the shop's business wasn't as before, grandma's health was under examination, and most importantly, the spiritual atmosphere at home had gone down the hill. I was overwhelmed by the tension and restlessness in the house. Almost everyday I was put in situations where I had to witness my parents quarreling, Mom breaking down in tears, grandparents and aunt telling me to talk to my mom about this or that... I was exhausted, physically and spiritually. All the negativity and responsibilities laid a heavy burden on me and I just felt so helpless. I was stressed, and depressed.

In those days, I felt that I couldn't feel God's presence anymore. Like He had forsaken and abandoned me and my family. I know in my mind that He is always there, but somehow I just couldn't find His presence anymore. I began to question God's will in allowing all these bad things to happen in my family. I stopped reading the Bible and seldom prayed. I know what I needed the most was seeking God's presence, but I couldn't help myself to run away from Him in rebellion. I ran away from God and drowned myself in busyness and ignorance. I hardened my heart and ignored all the negative emotions that were eating me up. Everyday I lived like a robot machine. I thought I will be alright, but I was just holding it in.

About a week before I was coming back to Perth, I finally had an emotional breakdown after this tragic incident. Never had I ever imagined that the scene played in dramas would actually happen to me where I would have to say this to my father. The incident and words said are still vivid in my memory. I remembered hugging my sister who was crying like a little baby. My heart was wrenched in ache but I could not cry. I think my heart was stabbed to death. I think it was the next day or two days later, my grandparents called me to go over to their house to discuss something regarding my father with me. Walking back home after the discussion, I felt horrible. And suffocating. "Why do I have to face all these? This is just too much...", I thought. When I was singing this hymn to my sleeping baby sister, I couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into tears. I've had enough. I couldn't live without God. Miraculously, God sent His servant to speak to me on my last Sunday service back home. My pastor approached me and said, "Don't question God on why did He allow you to be born into this family and that you have to face all these hardships and heartbreaking moments. I believe God has a plan for you for your place in this family. He wants you to grow stronger through these and experience Him....." Two days before I left for Perth, my pastor's wife came to my house and talked to me about forgiveness and praying for my family. I felt so blessed.

About a week after I came back to Perth, God kept urging me to come into His presence and seek Him. On a Saturday evening, I came before Him, repented and asked for forgiveness, and invited Him to be take control of my life again. I could feel God's love and presence in the room and I just cried and cried and cried... God freed me from all the sadness, disappointments, anger, bitterness, and burdens. Before Him, I humbled myself and chose to forgive my father and my spirit was set free. Tears won't stop flowing down my cheeks. I knew I could arise in Him again, for He is my strength, my comfort, and my shelter.

What made me to write this post today was my encounter with God this morning. I was doing my quiet time with Him and I came across this song called "One Thing Remains". As I was worshiping Him, I just felt His immense love surrounding me. I thought about all these years how much love and grace and mercy He has provided me. Even though I failed Him so many times, His love never fails and He never gives up on me. When I am lost, He always finds me and brings me back to Him. Thinking about these I just couldn't stop crying. How can my love for Him be compared to His unending and unconditional love for me? I bowed down before God and cried out from my heart that I want to love Him more. I want to love Him with all my heart, all my mind, all my strength, and all my soul. I want to love Him with everything.

One thing that remains is His never failing love in my life.

"Higher than the mountains that I face,
Stronger than the power of the grave,
Constant in the trial and the change,
One thing remains...

You love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me

On and on and on and on it goes, 
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never, ever, have to be afraid
One thing remains..."

I will persevere and keep praying, and I believe 2013 is going to be great year. May God bless you all =)

P.S. Although my two months holiday was challenging and painful, there were happy moments too, ie, spending time with my cute baby sister, 4-days Hong Kong trip with siblings, time spent with grandma etc...

Smile

What a special day! Say hellooooooo to the first day of uni break! I made a list of what-to-do in these short seven days of freedom:

1. I want to improve my piano-playing skill.

2. I want to improve my cooking skill.

3. I want to improve my studying skill.

For the past two weeks, I had been leading a restless life. Everyday was just about revising for tests and rushing on my assignments. I know I deserve F-U-N during the holiday but I deserted the idea of watching kdramas like no tomorrow and chose those three above. The main reason is because I want to have a productive holiday. Instead of wasting my time on dramas, I'd rather improvise myself. I used to sit in front of my laptop and streamed kdramas for the whole day during my holiday and what did I receive in the end? Nothing but insomnia lol. It was amazing how your brain would replay every single scene of the dramas when you were trying hard to fall asleep. So, it's time for a change. Regarding the studying skill, it's basically spending a few hours to study each day although it's holiday. I don't want my brain to be rusty when uni begins. So I will have to force myself to sit in front of my laptop and study my lecture notes in these seven days. 

Let's do this. Yeah!

(I just did my second item in the list. I made this omuraisu for my lunch. It was my first time and I was so happy that it wasn't a failure! Hahahahahahahaha)

Smile people! ^_^

Wheelchair Basketball

Today was a long day. A long, meaningful day. A day which gave me a new perspective of life. That life is wonderful. And beautiful.

As an occupational therapy student in my second semester, I have to complete 20hours of fieldwork. One is to go to this recreation centre and watch wheelchair basketball. I am not a fan of basketball and have never been interested in the sport. Neither have I nor will I ever watched a basketball match. The only thing I know about basketball is that Yao Ming is really a tall basketball player lol. 

So today there was a wheelchair basketball happening from 6.50 pm to 9pm, and I went there with a few of my course mates. When I entered the court, I was amazed by what I saw. There were a bunch of people sitting on wheelchairs, moving about freely. I thought they were the people with disability so I watched them closely on how they carried out the activity (for we need to fill in reflection sheets). All of a sudden, one of them just stood on his feet. I was like "Wait a minute!! What was that supposed to mean??". Only then I realized all these people who were chasing after a ball on wheelchairs were not immobile. In fact, they were normal and healthy....

Fortunately our purpose of the fieldwork wasn't wasted (to observe how people with disability carry out this activity in wheelchairs). After the match finished, another group of people entered the court on wheelchairs as well. This time, it was different. They were people with various levels of disabilities, although one or two of them were healthy and fit. Looking at them, I somehow felt different. 

"This is the real one." I thought to myself.

And hence I sat upright, opened my eyes widely, forced my brain to be alerted, and started to observe them. I witnessed how they cheered each other, changed from their normal daily used wheelchairs into the special ones for sports, adjusted their seats, placed safety straps across their feet, and marched into the center of the court. 

As soon as the game began, they engaged themselves completely in the game. They were chasing after the ball so violently. They were extraordinarily fast that you would even forget about the fact that they were sitting on a wheelchair. I personally thought that they were really good players and perhaps were better than those with healthy limbs. It was no doubt that they were way more better than me who could not even score.  After a short while the game had started, one of the guys scored a goal perfectly. It was spirit-lifting. We just burst into cheering and applauding. As the game progressed, I observed how they gave everything into the game. They loved running after the basketball, passing it to the team members, avoiding the opponents' attacks, and finally scoring the net. There were sweats. There were smiles, There were senses of achievement. There were encouragement. And there were meanings of life. 

Later I was offered the chance to hop onto a wheelchair. I tried on a wheelchair once before in my tutorial last week. But the I did not feel the same in this situation. As I looked up unto the net, which was quite a distance from me while sitting on the wheelchair, there was an urge inside of me that wanted me to reach it. So this was how they felt when they were at the court. The basketball net was their goal. Their only focus point. They strove for it and enjoyed the process. 

Looking at them, I was really inspired. They led me to think that life is still beautiful even though you might be disabled in some ways. There will still be goals in your life and you should never give up. We should always be grateful to what we have and even what we do not have. Life is life, it is wonderful. 

And in my eyes, they are the most beautiful basketball players.

Wonderful Start

Today was amazing. My class started at 10 in the morning and I didn't have to catch the bus 'cause Jon would pick me up. So I woke up at 7.30 a.m, intended to do my quiet time. Yet I just lie on my bed until the clock struck 8am. Epic fail. Then I decided to make myself a sumptuous lunch since there was plenty of time left. I wanted to make some healthy sandwiches but I couldn't make up my mind on the ingredients. This was the conversation that took place inside my brain:

"Hmmm ok I'll put tomatoes.... Wait a minute, the tomatoes are too hard! They are not ripe yet!"
"Ok I guess I'll put chinese cabbage then..."
"Hmm now I have vege, what type of protein should I choose?!"
"Hmm fried eggs? No no that would be too oily..."
"Oh there's some Hungarian salami left! Well I guess not... Salami is much more fattening than eggs~"
"Oh spam!!!!! Yummy!! Oh no! It's so unhealthy! I guess not then.."
" Sigh what should I put for my HEALTHY sandwich!??!?! "

In the end, I did not make sandwiches. It was too hard to decide on the ingredients so I just packed the leftover mushroom chicken rice and a banana for my lunch.

Jon was going to pick me up at 9.15 (*that was what he said yesterday night) but his car only turned up like fifteen minutes later. I had this feeling that I was going to be late for my class but I decided to brush it aside. Let's think positively. While on our way to pick up Aaron, we lost a bit of time on getting back to the right driveway. Then the same thing happened again when we were picking up Sandra. It began to dawn on me that yes we gonna be late. The fact was: We were late for twenty minutes. Actually we were late for ten minutes and we spent another ten minutes trying to figure out our way to the classroom. Curtin is freaking big and I guarantee that anyone can get lost easily in the campus. Thank God that we could still be in the same group even though we were late. *There were people who entered the classroom later than us so I guess we were not as bad XD

P.S. I'm so proud of myself I think I'm getting better at cooking muahaha. My dinner tonight:

Last Day of Winter Break

As the title suggested, today is the last day of my uni winter break. Well if you ask me what did I do during my whole winter break, I could easily answer you with a word : Nothing. Yes. Nothing. I did nothing. I thought I was going to work but I ended up staying at home doing nothing for three long weeks. So this was basically how I spent my day:

Woke up. Drank water. Quiet time with God. Opened up my laptop. Facebook. Dramas. Net surfing. Dramas. Shower. Leg exercise. Sleep.

And the next day began with the same routines. I lived like a robot man. Yeah I didn't eat anything. I wasn't crazy. I was having my body detox. Since I wasn't working, I took this opportunity and gave my body organs three weeks long of holidays as well. (Plus I ate so much 'rubbish' food when my mom visited me and I thought my body was contaminated quite bad) So I only drank Melilea Organic nutritious botanical powder  six times a day, three of those with soya powder, for twenty-one days. I DID IT. I'm so proud of myself. I had done this three times ( 3 days, 7 days, and 10days). So now my longest record is updated to 21 days oh yeah! Now I feel healthier and I think my skin is super good. My face looks flawless lol. It's like glowing.

I had been craving for mushroom chicken rice since then, and today my tongue papillae were satisfied. My uncle and aunt are now in New Zealand so I have to make my own dinner and my cousin's as well ('cause she doesn't know how to cook). Guess what did I cook? It was........................... MUSHROOM CHICKEN RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was my first time cooking this and it turned out to be extraordinarily delicious. When I took my first bite, I almost died of happiness. It brought back my childhood memories too. The canteen at my primary school used to sell the dish and every student would just queue for it. The tempting mushroom scent would just attract all the students to go for it. Plus it was super cheap. You could buy a plate for RM 0.50 only. I also made tomato soup to go with it. I missed Mom's tomato soup so I made one to relieve my homesickness. It tasted almost the same as Mom's and it was really appetizing. The main point is, I ate A LOT for dinner. Now my stomach is bloated like a hot air balloon. Great.

My masterpiece XD

Thank God for His words that I shall always find rest in Him. Tomorrow is the first day of semester two, enjoy =)

Heart to Heart

I don't know what happened but my previous blog was deleted for no reason. Guess I will just have to start all over again.Recently many things happened and they caused me to think about life seriously. 


Last Sunday morning was the day when Mom and family left Perth. Although they only visited me for just ten short days, their leaving made a huge difference in my daily lifestyle. I woke up in my empty room, had breakfast by myself, sat in front of my laptop alone, had no one to talk to... Strange isn't it? Habits can develop over a short period of time. During those ten days, every morning I was pulled out from my sweet dream by my baby sister and spent the rest of the day with Mom, little sister, brother, and aunt. It felt so different having my family around. Warmth. Love. Happiness. 

That Sunday night, while waiting for Mom's call from home in Malaysia, I received a call from my best friend.   All I heard was her crying over the phone,
" Esther, my uncle killed himself..."
Those words stabbed straight into my heart. My mind went blank. I didn't know what to say that I even blurted out "Hmm...Hmm... Are you okay?" when she was obviously not and crying herself out. All of a sudden I just felt so depressed and sad. I was overwhelmed by pessimistic feelings. I felt so lonely without having my beloved family around. I felt helpless and guilty too that I didn't know how to comfort my best friend and help her. Then I was thinking, " If only I'm like he/she, then I'll know what to do." I'm the type pf person who really doesn't know how to comfort people in situations like this. All I know is to give them a hug and be a good listener. But I am learning. I wish I can be helpful in the future when those around me are put under the same situation again.

This week will be my last week of holidays, which means that I'll have to delete my "holiday mood" and activate my "study mode". 2012 second semester of first year uni, here I come!